Bread and butter, pen and paper, salt and pepper, Batman and Robin and the list goes on and on…. there are a lot of things that go hand in hand. They kind of need each other to make meaning or one to make the other become better. Batman is strong but with Robin, he is stronger. Pen is useless without paper and butter makes bread taste better.

This is the story of Love and Submission in a marriage. They are like bread and butter. When they are understood and well applied, it is a beautiful sight to behold. It makes a marriage a strong united force and it certainly taste better. When misunderstood and wrongly applied, it is an ugly sight, it is damaging and can have a long lasting negative effect on a marriage and ultimately a home.

In today’s post, we focus on Love

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.

Ephesians 5:22-25 NKJV

If Love and Submission go hand in hand, it means that they support each other and one is needed for the other to thrive. We strongly believe that submission thrives in a conducive environment and that environment is LOVE. The man has to create the environment of Love for submission to thrive. If you create an environment with the Christ kind of love referred to in the passage above, submission on the path of the wife comes naturally. A good wife will certainly submit, honour, respect and adore a man who will love her to the point of giving his life for her.

I remember talking to someone about this some time ago, and he argued with me that in the Bible, submission comes first and so the woman should submit to the man first and he would in turn show her love. My response to him was; you find her right? And bring her to your home. What kind of environment will she meet in your home?” I explained to him that the man finds the wife (Prov.18:22), and he brings her to his home (environment) and so the kind of environment she meets in his home will determine the level of submission, honour, respect and adoration she will give him. When Eve was brought to Adam, the first thing he said was This is now the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh” acknowledging and instantly creating an ATMOSPHERE OF LOVE. Before anything else, he took ownership of his environment and gave her the foundation to which she would build on.

We are instructed to love our wives as Christ loved the Church. How did Christ love the Church? Christ loved us and died for us even while we were yet sinners, meaning no submission yet? He gave us an environment of ultimate love first and we His bride (the Church) submit, honour, adore and live for Him.

I read this quote a long time ago. (Disclaimer) I don’t know who said it, so I can’t give credit to the owner but its so relevant for this topic.

If a man expects a woman to be an Angel in his life, he must first create a Heaven for her… Angels don’t live in Hell.


Marriage is a beautiful union, a representation of the union between Christ and the Church. Jesus has a role in this union, He watches out for us, intercedes for us, protects us, defends us, provides for us, shares with us, covers us, forgives us, is not in competition with us rather we are “joint heirs” with Him.

Husbands, be the Christ in your marriage.

So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

Ephesians 5:28-29 NKJV

We love to hear from you so please share your thoughts on the post with us and tell a friend.


  • Affiong John Abakasanga

    Hand in hand is a wow!
    Love is the platform created for submission to thrive. This is insightful. Thank you my Pastors. Remain blessed.

  • Ada

    So good!!!

  • Nancy Abraham

    Thank you Pastors for showing us the way, the truth and the life. God bless you and everyone on your team.

  • Glory Nwokocha

    Wow! I just read through all the issues on this series…..I absolutely agree with everything as it corroborate with God’s intention for marriage as found in scripture. I especially love the ‘yielded’ write up….huge huge blessing 👏

    I look forward to reading more from you guys on this series.

    May God bless and increase his wisdom upon you pastors Thelma And Idorenyin.

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